Which means I’m hit stark in the face with the fact that I haven’t touched the MIT course or readings for a couple of days. I also haven’t played or worked on many things for work since Wednesday before the event. It will be nice to start feeling ‘work-related’ productive again.
I received another email from an old co-worker. Just hearing from someone from my old place of work makes me depressed. Actually, just seeing a facebook profile of one of my old coworkers makes me upset. It’s amazing just how much my self esteem was affected by it all. Never doubt just how much your work life can affect your overall mood.
This email emphasized my need to be self employed. Each time I think about getting a 9-5 job, I get a little panicky. I’m so scared of having to work for someone, to have someone make me feel that way again. So powerless, and so incredibly hopeless. After reading research from the bullying institute, it talked about how most people in such situations never get out with anything positive. Most people simply leave, without ever filing a formal complaint. For those who file a complaint, most never see something positive come out of it. So I knew that it was coming when I started down the road, I just also knew that it wasn’t going to get any better unless I tried something. I hope that either self-employment works, or I eventually find a job for someone who enjoys my go-get’em attitude and tenacity.
For anyone else who has suffered through office bullying my heart goes out to you. It is very painful and often-times a humiliating experience. Do your best to not let them get to you. If you start to believe them, it will take you that much longer to find yourself again.