Please note that poetry is for me, a way of coping with my thoughts and feelings.  Like or dislike, it matters not.  However it is posted to show others the personal troubles I am coping with.  It is in the hopes that others will not be dissuaded to follow their dreams, due to internal suffering.    

Some days

That grey sky is ever so looming

pressing down upon my heart

pushing out my memories of happiness

The where’s and why’s,

and my comprehension

it sits outside my window

viewing it’s own reflection with disdain

I cannot

will not

be a victim

Fighting and straining, grasping towards the edge

looking for another green exit sign.  

a sign that says, it’s okay to exit

It’s okay to go.

Or a red exit sign,

stop, as leaving is not an option

I’ll sit here then

where am I to go to?

How am I to leave?

despair is my domain.  

A place to revel in, a place to find solace

for what else is there?

when the grey skies

ever looming

sit outside my window

Meaningless words

drivel and garbage heaps fill my mouth

Vomiting I cast them out

Filling other receptacles, others with open arms

Coffee grinders fuel anger

with their whirring and cracking

caffeine graces my lips

and sets fires anew

my world of despair and delusion

Garbage, it’s all garbage

a compost bin that fills with decaying meat

that burns

wriggling worms infesting my soul

burrowing and eating away

a carcass I stand

my eyes wish to water the world

with drips of pain and suffering

selfishness abides here

don’t let it fool you

it sits, unattended and yet visited frequently with hopeful smiles

distraction the only guiding light

the only light, as grey skies

they loom

ever and only

with broken exit signs filling the cold hearth

Please listen to this song to gain hope and acceptance: Let Go - Frou Frou