Sorry folks, today is not a blog post about my weird little side notes about our business, or my education towards programming.  It’s been a hard half-week.  Painful memories abound here.

I’ve been relapsing a bit back into my ultra fear mode from when I worked at my previous job.  For the past two mornings I woke up and all I could think of was my former boss, how angry I still was at her, at some other people at my old place of work, and how I am still not over it.  I’m still not over it.  I’m still ridiculously angry some days.  It’s very few and far between when those days arise, but I still experience them.  

I never imagined I would find myself in a situation such as I am today.  Working on building my own business while recovering from such a serious violation of self worth.  My daily reflections tend to be filled with serious, angst’y issues.  How do I let go of anger and pain?  How do I forgive when I simply want to hurt myself or someone else during those reflections?  Especially when I hear these suggestions most of the time:
  1. Go workout    
  2. Talk to someone about it
  3. Talk to the person involved
  4. Deal with the problem surrounding it
  5. Simply deal with it
I don’t know about you, but I’ve found that working out doesn’t help.  If anything I linger on the issue and don’t actually deal with it.  Talking with someone doesn’t always help because it can often make me angrier, but it can help sometimes so I’m not totally knocking it.  Talking with the person at hand almost always makes me angry, or makes it harder for me to actually deal with the issue (at least this particular issue).  Dealing with the problem surrounding it, that doesn’t always solve things, and sometimes also makes me just as angry.  This is specifically in reference to situations where your supervisors at work are inclined to believe a boss who tells stories differently than you do.  To simply deal with it; that’s a phrase for someone who just clams up and doesn’t ‘Deal with it’ as far as I’m concerned.  Or it’s someone who doesn’t want to listen to you.  

I did, however, just hear one of the best suggestions in a long while: write a story about it.  Although Robey mentions having suggested this in the past, it really clicked when I received this tweet:

And now I’m off to do just that.  I’m going to write a short story, and let the good times..... = a delicious salmon sandwich.  Seriously hungry.