It’s amazing how much a person can convince themselves that someone else doesn’t care for them. It’s even more amazing that often the same person is at fault, because they simply don’t trust the other person. They think they do, but they don’t. I am guilty of this.
We are all so different that sometimes it’s difficult to realize just how much. At least, I think so. Afterwards to find yourself able to still be accepting of other people when you realize how different they are, that’s a real feat of wits and strength. It’s something that was never a big issue for me, until I started working 8 to 5.
As I’ve mentioned off and on, some rather big life stressors have been happening lately. They are rather upsetting and sad, and also things not to be delved into here. However one amazing thing has happened throughout this whole episode. I’ve learned to trust more deeply in those close to me. I’ve learned to trust that what they say is what they feel.
I’ve had some rather strong passive-aggressive influences in my life, and I definitely can react passive-aggressively towards others. I also have a horrible habit of stress eating. Today, for example, I had a serious craving for cake after an event related to all of this stress. I ate some cake, I admit it.
Sorry, what I’m getting at is that learning to actually trust other people, and not think they are acting passive-aggressively towards me, that has been one of the most difficult goals of my life. Lately I’ve started to feel like that stress, that pain, has been lifted off of my shoulders.
It may have been something else, it may have been the weather. I don’t know. What I do know is that for some reason, I’ve started to trust people again. At the end of my last job my ability to trust was shot. I don’t think I realized how much until I started working again on site.
I start to worry about things, like I did at my old job, and then I realize just how silly I’m being. How different other working environments were. I’m starting to have faith in myself again, and all because I’m starting to believe what other people say. Trust is key.